mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
