It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
