home. puking in laundry basket.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
