I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
