it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
