quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
