i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
