you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
The Olympian is in my bed
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize