I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
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