I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
its not stalking. its research.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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