You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
