I like my sex mixed with concussions.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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