when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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