just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
