Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
