just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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