I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
