Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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