but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize