Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
