dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
