Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
