I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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