thus making me awesome and them whores
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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