Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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