Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Randomize
