You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
