And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
