Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
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