Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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