my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
