We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
