She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
