i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
