At least make sure they are 18
Why
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
