do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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