So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize
