If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
