look no pants
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I need a beard to bite.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
