She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Randomize
