We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
This baby is an asshole
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
