No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
We need a shit load of segways right now
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Randomize
