We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
My butt remains clenched, sir.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
