when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
