I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
