did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
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