Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize