She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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