If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize