Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
