We should be called the Road Head Warriors
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize