so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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