just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
