the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Randomize
