so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
