Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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