why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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