she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize
