As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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