So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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