ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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